Types Of Metal - LoL !!!

blackraven · Trimis: 24/09/2006 09:14 Titlul subiectului: Types Of Metal - LoL !!!

TYPES OF METAL

HEAVY METAL: The protagonist arrives on a Harley Davidson, kills the dragon, drinks some beers and f*cks the princess.

GRIND METAL: The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves...

POWER METAL: The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and they make love in an enchanted forest.

TRASH METAL: The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and f*cks her....... easy and quick.

FOLK METAL: The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (from all the dancing) protagonist leaves without the princess.

VIKING METAL: The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty mighty mighty mighty axe, cooks and eats it, rapes the princess to death, loots the castle and burns it down before he leaves.

DEATH METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, f*cks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

BLACK METAL: The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in the front of the castle.....then sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her.....then he impales the deflowered princess.

GORE METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, f*cks the princess and kills her....then he f*cks her dead body, slashes her belly open and eats her guts, f*cks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and f*cks it for the last time.

DOOM METAL: The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks that he never could beat him, gets depressed and commits suicide....the dragon eats his body and the princess as well.

PROGRESSIVE METAL: The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo for 26 minutes, the dragon kills himself out of boredom, the protagonist goes to the princess bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques learned in the last year of the conservatory... the princess escapes, and is now looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist.

GLAM METAL: The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's 'gay' appearance and lets him enter, he steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.

INDUSTRIAL METAL: The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes obscene gestures towards the dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.

CHRISTIAN METAL: The protagonist rides in on his way home from church and sings a mushy power ballad to the dragon about how much Jesus loves him and that the dragon should turn to Him. The Dragon is immediately converted, and when the princess wants to "thank" the protagonist he replies, "sorry, but I don't believe in having sex before marriage."

GOTHIC METAL: The princess in a velvet costume starts singing soprano. The protagonist completes the duett by adding the beast part, while the dragon plays the flute. Suddenly he swallows up the pipe and accidently scorches the beauty and the beast and suffocates to death. All their souls are damned in hell's eternity.

BATTLE METAL: The protagonist arrives with a legion of a hundred brave footman, war chariots and a dozen elite warriors and, as a master tactician, flanks the dragon in a bloody siege that lasts six hours. The princess gets bored.

NU METAL: The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.

EMO: The protagonist sees the dragon and moans about how hard it will be to get the princess to fall in love with him, He gets eaten. The princess is very happy, because he was a whiny fag anyway.

GRUNGE: The protagonist doesn't get eaten by the dragon because he stinks too much from not washing his hair in months. The princess won't go near him either, and he ends up dying on the town hall steps with the other mosha's due to the over consumption of white cider.

POP-PUNK: The dragon can't eat the protagonist because he can't catch him because he keeps bouncing up and down. The princess won't f*ck him either, because he likes ska.

:mbounce: